Girl Crisis

by Mike James

According to recent federal research, nearly one in three high school girls said they had considered suicide. This is a 60 percent increase from stats only ten years ago. This same research found 15 percent of these girls had been raped. Another six out of ten girls were so sad or hopeless that it caused them to stop regular activities.

This data comes from the Youth Risk Behavior Survey by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. They surveyed a nationally representative sample of public and private high school students.

A lot of this data was collected in the fall of 2021, so the Covid situation at the time may have played into some of this data.

The CDC opined that "America's teen girls are engulfed in a growing wave of sadness, violence and trauma." But why is there an increase in all of this for girls?

According to Harvard psychologist Richard Weissbourd, "girls are more likely to respond to pain in the world by internalizing conflict and stress and fear, and boys are more likely to translate those feelings into anger and aggression."

Jean Twenge, a psychology professor at San Diego State University, feels part of the problem is the heavy doses of social media teens receive. Twenge said that social media feeds into comparisons, and girls are more prone to be concerned that their body and life does not add up to others.

Ben Handrich, a school counselor at South Salem High School in Salem, Oregon, said teen girls often feel that "people are watching them—no matter what they do, there's this invisible audience judging their movements, their actions, the way they smile, the way they eat."

I have run into a little of this with my teen daughter. As she made new friends in high school, I remember her being upset by the opinions and perceptions of her peers. This happened a couple of times, and I'm glad we were able to talk about it. I let her know what others think about her does not matter. We can't control other people, and we should not worry about what they might or might not be thinking.

I think we all have felt some anxiety as teens about what our peers think. The point is to not let it overwhelm our teenagers.

I think it is important that we check up on our teens on a regular basis. I'm lucky to be working from home, so I get to drive my daughter to and from school. It's much easier for me to keep a close eye on what's going on with her. For those of you who have less time with your kids, I think it is a good idea to just make some time to check-in.

Knowing there is someone to vent to can really help a kid. If they don't have someone to talk to, they will find other outlets. There are times to back off, but letting them know you are available whenever will allow them to vent when they feel the need.

Also, remember that a teen girl sees the world differently than an old guy like me. I might think my daughter is being overly dramatic about something, but that is not what my daughter is experiencing. We need to listen and hear things from their perspective rather than our own.

Here is how one tenth-grade girl described her life: "Adults don't get all the pressure that teenage girls have to deal with, from appearance to the way they act to how smart they are, to the things they do. It can be very overwhelming."

I have also wondered how much of this might be due to the downward trend in our country of strong Christian families. Could some of this have something to do with a lack of hope among some of the young girls? Without a belief in God or something bigger than your own life, it is much easier to get down and depressed when things are not going well.

Your kids may not be interested in God, the Bible, or going to church, but you should not stop talking to them about it. Remind them to say their prayers at night, when they eat, and whenever they are feeling down. Let them know God is always there for them.

If you or someone you know needs help, call the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). The 24/7 365-days-per-year number in English and Spanish is 1-800-662-HELP (4357).

Source: "The Crisis in American Girlhood," by Donna St. George, Katherine Reynolds Lewis, and Lindsey Bever, The Washington Post, February 18, 2023